Ketchup

Ketchup
Pronunciation	[ʞ̺🩴øʭʌʬ]
Language family	Condimentic
Early form(s)	Syrup
Writing system	Latin, Ketchupian
Official status
Spoken in	Madlands
Regulated by	Suqi
Speaker
Exonym	Ketchupian
Technical information

Ketchup, natively spelled ĸ𰻞ɘʜup, is Suqi's first cursed conlang, and it's comin' to Nguhcraft, baby! Obviously spoken in the Madlands, the wacky language of Ketchup is imbued with chaos due to random, unrelated situational facts being crucial to understanding information; the requirement of intense cognition during phoneme placement; and shifty language when every case becomes taboo.

Ketchup originally comes from an alternate Earth called Ert. It is spoken by a human-adjacent species, still called humans, within the Ketchupian culture.

Phonology

Ketchupian phonology uses a variety of unnaturalistic, unusual, and phonetically complex articulations for no reason.

Consonants

	Quadripalpebral	Bilabial	Linguolabial	Bidental	Alveolar	Sublaminal	Palatal	Velar	Guttural	Pedal
Nareal Fricative		m̥͋ m͋			n̥͋			ŋ̥͋	ɴ̥͋ᶣ ɴ͋
Fricative									ɦ̰
Implosive			𝼉̼ˡ
Click		(ᵏʘ͡ǀ͡ǂ)	ỽ				(ᵏʘ͡ǀ͡ǂ)	𐞥ʞ̺
Percussive	👀	ʬ		ʭ	≣	¡				🦶🩴
Summative	Ω

Quadripalpebral consonants are those produced with two sets of eyelids. The bipalpebral percussive /👀/ is the act of blinking.

Pedal consonants are those produced with the foot. The pedal percussive [🦶] is the act of smacking a foot against something. Ketchup uses the solarized pedal percussive /🦶^🩴/, which means the foot must be wearing a shoe.

Exact Pronunciations

These are detailed instructions on how to pronounce each single-articulation phoneme because KWMs has a very atypical phonology.

Non-Ingressive
IPA	Pronunciation
[ᵑ̥ʙ͉̊]	Egressive voiceless nasal velaric bilabial trill
	Back of tongue pressed against velum. Open velum to allow air to pass through the nose. Closed, loosened lips become trilled due to advancement of the tongue (still pressed against velum). Vocal folds not vibrating.
[ᵑ̥r͉̊]	Egressive voiceless nasal velaric alveolar trill
	Back of tongue pressed against velum. Open velum to allow air to pass through the nose. Tongue tip pressed against alveolar ridge, but loosened, becomes trilled due to advancement of the back of the tongue (still pressed against velum). Vocal folds not vibrating.
[ᵑ̥ɽr͉̊]	Egressive voiceless nasal velaric retroflex trill
	Back of tongue pressed against velum. Open velum to allow air to pass through the nose. Tongue underside pressed against hard palate, but loosened, becomes trilled and pushed forward due to advancement of the back of the tongue (still pressed against velum). Vocal folds not vibrating.
[ʷᵑ̥f͉]	Egressive voiceless nasal velaric pre-rounded labiodental fricative
	Back of tongue pressed against velum. Open velum to allow air to pass through the nose. Lips rounded. As the lips unround, bottom lip makes contact with top teeth and air is pushed outward as a fricative due to advancement of the tongue (still pressed against velum). Vocal folds not vibrating.
[ᵑ̥s͉]	Egressive voiceless nasal velaric alveolar fricative
	Back of tongue pressed against velum. Open velum to allow air to pass through the nose. Tongue tip reaches alveolar ridge and air is pushed outward as a fricative due to advancement of the tongue (still pressed against velum). Vocal folds not vibrating.
[ᵑ̥ʬ]	Voiceless nasal velaric bilabial percussive
	Back of tongue pressed against velum. Open velum to allow air to pass through the nose. Bottom lip strikes top lip forcefully to create a sound. Vocal folds not vibrating.
[ᵑ̥ʭ]	Voiceless nasal velaric bidental percussive
	Back of tongue pressed against velum. Open velum to allow air to pass through the nose. Bottom teeth strike top teeth forcefully to create a sound. Vocal folds not vibrating.

Vowels

Ketchup has 8 vowel inventories that can be used in three different ways.

The first usage is determining the grammaticosocial gender of a conversation. Specific combinations of the vowel inventories by the collective speakers in a conversation determine a specific gender for the conversation. The gender formed for the conversation determines how the speakers feel about having the conversation, which can impact their attitude and interactions with the other speakers. This also determines the grammatically correct way to refer to the conversation in the future. If speakers fail to collectively give a conversation one of the genders that exist, the conversation will be impossible to ever refer to again.

The second usage is similar, it determines the grammaticosocial gender of a word. It also involves determining gender by combining multiple vowel inventories, but it only occurs within the syllable(s) of that word and done solely by the speaker. Like the conversation gender, it determines the correct way to refer to that word's referent in the future and failure results in never being able to refer to that referent ever again.

The third usage i dont fucking remember because i have horrible memory

Linguistic Capabilities

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