The All-Seeing Eye
The All-Seeing Eye (HVM: al-se no me) is the mysterious news network of Hajdislant. It seems to have access to knowledge from the afterlife, and seems to operate from the afterlife.
News Reports
Chicken population spike in Hajdislant after controversial Hummland law
The Hajdislant Department of Statistics has found that the chicken population in Hajdislant is getting way bigger than expected. This seems to be a direct result of the recent KOS put on chickens in Hummland. Satan recently gave a speech denouncing the order:
"THERE'S TOO MANY CHICKENS! WE CAN'T KEEP UP! HOW THE HAJDIS ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH SO MANY FUCKING CHICKENS! I'm gonna be sooooo happy when this guy is being punished."
No solution to the problem has currently been found, but many have been proposed: Mainly enacting temporary reincarnation on chickens or claiming more land. In an interview, Her Unholiness apollyon, representative of Hajdis, has said the following:
"I have been asked to bring these to humanity: 'People of the Ŋorld! Do not follow this barbaric law! It's a lose-lose for everyone! We ask that you populate the world with chickens so that they may reincarnate! This is probably the only solution that might work! Do not hear the lies of Hummland! Chickens have done nothing wrong.' These are words from Satan and his commitee."
The following articles reflect a period on which Hajdislant was against the unUNg, which is currently not true.
Hajdislant wants to join the lawsuit against the UnUŊ, but has no idea how to
Satan has said on a speech this morning while talking to us:
"wait they're suing the unung? how do i get in on that please i wanna join"
Her Unholiness apollyon has written this letter to us, destined to all of the Ŋorld, especially those in the lawsuit against the UnUŊ
someone help me i wanna join aaaaaaaaaa they put me in without me knowing and now they wanna add like 1000 worms???? what even is a worm is that something from the "world" some dead weirdos were talking about??????? -apollyon
Hajdislant joins lawsuit against the UnUŊ, Satan reportedly "almost fell off his throne in joy" after hearing the news
Satan said the following regarding the news:
HELL YEAH imagine the look on their faces when they see LITERAL HELL is suing the unung
Satan condemns all willing unung members to unusual kind of punishment upon death
According to new ruling from Satan, all willing unung members will be required to live an afterlife of purity until they are "washed of their sins". This was done as a direct response to the recent forced admission of Satan into the unung. Satan also said the following about the unung:
"fuck you man fuck you"
This is the worst Satan has ever been witnessed speaking of any person or group.
In incredibly confusing move, the unung threatens to commit terrorism after being threatened to be called a terrorist organization
Everyone is incredibly confused, as this move is the opposite of what they should do to win the lawsuit. Of course, weird moves like these are expected of the unung, but this is an incredible blunder that can't possibly help them.
"i don't even know anymore" -Satan
In what seems to be a response to interview with High King Sebroar, the unUŊ has removed most of the ngations from the former ngations list
In response to an interview given by High King Sebroar to the Voice of Krīpahra, the unUŊ has deleted most of its former members list. It is unknown if this is just to the public eye, and it's worth mentioning that this list was, and still is, a complete joke. It is still completely possible and likely that the unUŊ still does not fully recognize when someone leaves or tries to leave the unUŊ. There has not been yet any response from High King Sebroar or any leader of any Ŋation that is in the lawsuit against the unUŊ.
Hajdislant withdraws from unUŊ lawsuit
After reconsidering the ramifications of the "make it so that things that get added to the unung can leave if they pay me 0 USD" and "can you leave the unung" unUŊ rulings, Satan has decided that it is most likely that the unUŊ will cease non-consensually adding entities to the unUŊ. After polling, it has been decided by Satan, apollyon and 72.3% of the dead population of Hajdislant that Hajdislant should withdraw from the lawsuit against the unUŊ.
"We have achieved our goal with the lawsuit, doing anything else is not necessary at the moment (yes, including leaving the unUŊ)." -Satan
"chaotic neutral~good > chaotic evil" -apollyon
Oakley found safe and happy in Hajdislant after death
Worker that recently died in Project Archimedes "Ôhk" (Oak) Oakley Theo was found "having the time of his non-life" in Hajdislant. On an interview, he said that being dead is better than working in Project Archimedes:
"i don't have to work and there's definitely no drowneds here;; what else could i possibly ask for?"
This sheds some light on the terrible working conditions of Project Archimedes, and shows the need for better safety as soon as possible.
BREAKING NEWS: unUNg [REDACTED]
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Satan lowers the temperature in hell
Temperatures seemed to be too high, as ouija seemed to tell us. Satan has now lowered the temperatures in all of hell and created regions with normal and even freezing temperature for those who need it.
Satan takes punishment back after remembering he made that punishment
The unusual punishment to all willing unung members has been lifted now that Hajdislant no longer sees the unung as an "evil" force and that Hajdislant accepts unung membership.
"wait i did that? fuck where's the undo button?" -Satan
Hajdislant braces for death spike as tensions in Maraśa rise
Upon witnessing the recent events in Maraśa, many dead Hajdislant citizens are concerned for what might follow. Expansions in Hajdislant infrastructure are already undergoing to support this new threat. Satan has commented on the claiming of the divinity of the quing of Rauratoshan, stating the following:
"Your ŋation has already been proven to not have ever been ruled by a deity! Can't you see? You need no deity to rule over you, you are already powerful on your own! Why do you need to fight over this? Use this opportunity to govern yourselves, for the benefit of yourselves, for your own glory!"
Her Unholiness apollyon has commented on the comment:
"inb4 'Satan isn't real, he couldn't have said that' or 'Satan is only here to decieve us, we must not follow his word'"
al-se no me (The All-Seeing Eye)