T.TCNi
(Redirected from The Carrot articles)
This page may be used as a compilation of news stories published in the The Carrot News station.
T.TCN𝑖 is the alternate timeline in which all the news of The Carrot News station, Nguhcraft's parody news station, actually happened. This only includes what was announced in the Carrot News thread, and not joke events announced elsewhere. Any event in the prime timeline that logically conflicts with an event in this timeline did not occur in this timeline. However, events in T.TCN𝑖 may conflict with each other. Thus is the nature of time in this world. This page does not include articles that were made as a joke but refer to canon situations unless they are involved in a broader non-canon situation.
Timeline
| Date | Event | Sources |
|---|---|---|
| 2 JUN 2025 | Jamie threatens to pour gasoline and ignite it all over Ŋafrica | Link[1][2] |
| Kyaw Cen dissolves | Link 1, Link 2 | |
| Xêgwar gains independence and claims the Kingdom of Kyaw Cen and parts of Imerchal | Link | |
| Xêgwar is renamed to Xhegwar by Xhesas | Link | |
| Stemon resigns[from what?][I don't know] | Link | |
| Nate sues Nguhrovision | Link | |
| 3 JUN 2025 | Hackers attack Kyaw Cen schools | Link |
| It is revealed school was illegal in Kyaw Cen the whole time | Link | |
| 4 JUN 2025 | Annwan plans to delete Sirenguard and start a new one | Link |
| Social media access revoked for Doge Peleṽa Thoa-Saevakki of Kozdenen after inflammatory posts | Link | |
| Emperor of Anaku declares democracy holiday out of sloth. | Link | |
| Doge Peleṽa Thoa-Saevakki banned from Enkavak social media servers | Link | |
| Xhesas and Total pleb swap Enkavak and Kozdenen and destroy each other's countries | Link | |
| 5 JUN 2025 | Doge Peleṽa Thoa-Saevakki illegalizes everything: turns Kozdenen into massive jail | Link |
| Unknown vigilante plants eastern cherries in Cyrykä, Wánade | Link | |
| 7 JUN 2025 | Interŋational Aspirin shortages due to increasing cases of Sirenguard | Link |
| 8 JUN 2025 | Imerchal political cabinet members replaced with Aspirin bottles | Link[3] |
| God denounces socialism due to sheep and water[4] | Link[5] | |
| 10 JUN 2025 | Aspirin stocks rise tenfold due to existence of the Department of Forgery | Link |
| 11 JUN 2025 | Chemcorp sees rise of profit margins due to increased amounts of Aspirin and estrogen demands | Link |
| Suwi steals a carrot from Enkavak and eats it in Fakeworld and does a face reveal by getting caught in 4K | Link 1, Link 2, Link 3, Link 4, Link 5[6] | |
| Astaryuu and Bookhead do your mother | Link 1, Link 2 | |
| Stemon reveals your mother is our mother | Link | |
| 12 JUN 2025 | Foreign merchant shocks Dhourigkàn locals with terrible understanding of their language! | Link |
| Stemon to receive everyone else's testosterone | Link | |
| Sudden spike in trans girls and femboys results from the mass detestosteronization | Link | |
| Stemon becomes a hypergirl due to integer overflow of testosterone | Link | |
| 13 JUN 2025 | Rose Corp announces plan to fiercely monopolize mending books | Link |
| 15 JUN 2025 | Agamashuya I comes out as nonbinary | Link[7] |
| 22 JUN 2025 | Kaipa mandates fursuits for human government officials | Link |
| 25 JUN 2025 | Total pleb arrested for censorship, sentenced to 20-minute pebble counting | Link |
| Wánade rail workers realize Cenrail is named after Kyaw Cen and not the Oge word for friend | Link | |
| 26 JUN 2025 | Secret organization plans empire near Kathyria | Link[8] |
| Sirenguard denies plans of giant Chalmosique-annihilating laser beam unprompted | Link | |
| Sirenguard sanctioned by UŊ for construction of giant Chalmosique-annihilating laser beam | Link | |
| Doge of Kozdenen establishes free trial of democracy with an upgrade at the cost of revolution | Link | |
| 30 JUN 2025 | The Carrot News loses popularity due to discord demoting the thread to gone | Link |
| 1 JUL 2025 | Struggle for Keezhʉ Maaiṽa is predicted to secure half of the democratic legislative branch in Kozdenen | Link |
| The Wánade executive branch reminds its confused citizens that there is no election season in sight | Link | |
| 2 JUL 2025 | Kozdenen iron now radiates estrogen | Link |
| Maize is lifted into the air by an absolute fucking lunatic using massive helium balloons | Link | |
| Vilantnen ded | Link | |
| 3 JUL 2025 | Suwi tries to explode and kill Binary | Link |
| Suwi robs the Kozdenen iron farm | Link | |
| 5 JUL 2025 | Jamie has made these jokes before, and her career as a comedian is irreparably ruined | Link[9] |
| 6 JUL 2025 | There are multiple bears being sent to your location. | Link |
| Nāroňpār finds out it has a human population | Link | |
| 8 JUL 2025 | Wánade's high priestess demands an extension of the corner line | Link |
| 9 JUL 2025 | Sq (Xhesas [Marcy {Hilja}]) is an absolute meanie | Link |
| Sq sucks and is banned from gaining citizenship to all developed ŋations | Link | |
